


The Loss of Cyan

by kickcows



Series: AkuSai Month Challenge [4]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-23
Updated: 2014-07-23
Packaged: 2018-02-10 00:59:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2004900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kickcows/pseuds/kickcows
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Saix ran into some trouble on a mission, and wound up getting hurt. This is about the aftermath of that accident.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Loss of Cyan

**Author's Note:**

> This is to fulfill the 4th prompt in the slow burn category for [AkuSai month challenge](http://misomilk.tumblr.com/post/87702829490/beloved-shippers-of-akusai-the-prompts-have-been) on tumblr. Artwork can be found [here](http://heartlessfujoshi.tumblr.com/post/92634454480/akusaimonth-slow-burn-prompt-4-use-at-least-4), as this work is a result of the pictures drawn.

“What book would you like for me to read today, Sai?” Axel asks his best friend, as he leads him back over to the couch in his bedroom. He had just completed his mission, and like every other day since the incident happened, Axel was there to visit his friend.

“It doesn’t matter,” came his soft reply. “Something that will make me smile.”

He feels the weariness of Saïx’ request. “Okay. I have to go to the library and get something. Will you wait right here for me?”

“Where am I going to go?”

“Right.” Axel quickly opens a portal. “I’ll be right back.” He heads through the Corridor of Darkness, and appears in the castle’s library.

He sees Zexion at one of the tables, reading a rather large book. Knowing better than to ask him for some help, he wanders over to a shelf to see if he can find something light. There weren’t a lot of options, but he picks one he thinks will do the job, as requested.

They had made their way through the library in a progressive rate. Axel couldn’t remember just when the incident had happened. He remembers when he had heard about it, through another Organization member.

_“Looks like Luna got into some trouble.” Xigbar approached him in the Grey Area. “Seems like it’s pretty bad.”_

_“How bad?” Axel asked, keeping the worry out of his voice. “He’s not missing any limbs, is he? He’s not going to fade into the Darkness, right?”_

_“Not too sure about that last one.” Xigbar stroked his chin. “I think it’s best if you go and see him. Anyway, that’s why I’m here. Superior said you were the one I should get.”_

_He jumped up from the couch. “Where is he?”_

_“With the scientist. He’s treating his wounds.” Xigbar said. Axel didn’t wait for him to finish his sentence, before dashing out of the room. “Axe! I ain’t done talkin’ to you yet!”_

_He ran to Vexen’s lab, hoping that Saïx_ _was still there. Not bothering to knock, he barged into the room, and saw someone laying on a table. He began to feel sick, his head spinning as every possible scenario went through his mind._

_“He is not dead.” Zexion looked over at him, as his back was blocking Axel’s view of his friend. “We used Stop on him, which caused him to fall asleep, in order to help heal him faster.”_

_Axel walked over towards the table, blinking away the tears that were threatening to fall. There, on the table, was his best friend, his head wrapped up in a bandage. It went over and back across the bridge of his nose a few times, droplets of blood beginning to seep into the layers._

_“Why aren’t you using Curaga?” Axel asked, staring at both men. “What about an elixir? A mega-potion?” He began to search around the lab for the potions he knew had to be stored in there._

_A firm hand grasped his, as Lexaeus appeared out of nowhere. “They are doing everything they can for him.”_

_“Because of the nature of his accident, nothing works properly. He will need to come down here twice a week, so that I may change his dressings.” Vexen and Zexion lifted the patient into a sitting position._

_“What the hell happened?” Axel asked. He picked up Saïx in his arms, holding him sideways._

_“We’re not quite sure. Lord Xemnas brought him to us like this, saying there had been some sort of Heartless.” Vexen looked at him. “Remember, he needs to come down here twice a week.”_

_“Got it.” Axel surrounded himself with Darkness, leaving the lab behind him._

_He set Saïx down on the bed, as carefully as he could. He made a soft whimpering sound, as he tried to turn over onto his side, the magic wearing off. Axel bit his lip, the tears that had wanted to fall back in the lab suddenly manifesting once more._

_A hand grabbed him tightly. “X-Xemnas? Lea? Please, who’s here?”_

_“It’s me,” Axel whispered, too taken aback by the scared tone in his friend’s voice. He placed his hand over Saïx’, and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Try not to move too much, okay? You’ve been hurt pretty badly.”_

_“I can’t see.” Saïx tried to sit up, but Axel gently pushed him back down. “Lea, what’s going on? Why can’t I see?”_

_He took a deep breath. “I guess something happened while you were out on your mission. Do you remember anything?” He placed his hand on Saïx’ cheek, hoping it would calm him down._

_“Not really. Bits and pieces.” His head turned towards the redhead’s hand. “Is it permanent? Am I going to be blind now?”_

_“I don’t think so.” His thumb stroked his cheek with tender care. “Vexen said you will have to go and see him, to change your bandages.”_

_“Did he say how long?” Lips brushed against the palm of his hand, as Saïx moved his head. “I’m so glad that you’re here right now, Lea.”_

_“I know, Isa.” He fell naturally into calling his best friend by his human name. They only did this behind closed doors, as none of the other Organization members referred to anyone by their human names, even though they had all known one another in Radiant Garden. Clinging to their human names gave them a sense of still being human, even though they were now Nobodies, beings with no hearts. A memory of compassion came forth, as he held onto his best friend’s hand, wishing that there was something more he could have done so that this hadn’t happened._

_“Is Lord Xemnas alright? I think we were out on a mission together.” Saïx mumbled, sinking back onto the pillow._

_“I believe he’s the one that brought you back.” Axel could see his chest beginning to rise and fall._

_“I think I may nap. I’m tired, Lea.” Saïx’ hand curled around his own. “Don’t leave?”_

_“I’m not going to, Isa. Don’t worry. I’m here to protect you.”_

That had been almost three months ago. Axel doesn’t know how long it was going to take for Saïx’ wound to heal. But, he has been with him every single day since the attack. He still hasn’t learned about anything from Xemnas, and Saïx didn’t seem at all interested in speaking about it. From the nightmares he’s witnessed, he knows that it was a powerful Heartless.

He grabs a book they haven’t read off the shelf, and heads back to Saïx’ bedroom. He gentle knocks before entering, and sees him sitting on the couch, just where he left him.

“Lea? Is that you?”

“It is.” Axel closes the door behind him, and walks over to the couch. Settling down on the floor, he leans against Saïx’ leg, putting his right elbow onto his lap, and opened the book. “You ready for a new story?”

“I have to tell you something first.” A hand came to rest on his elbow. He looked back, and saw a hesitant smile on Saïx’ face.

“What is it,  Isa?” He sets the book down, and gives him his full attention. “Do you need something?”

Long, azure hair sways as he nods his head. “Vexen told me yesterday that I could remove the bandages later today.”

“Later today?” Axel stands up, and sits next to him on the couch. “When? What time? Can I do it now?”

“He said that it should be okay to remove it around 8. What time is now, Lea? Is it close to 8?” Saïx rests his head on the redhead’s shoulder, their fingers intertwining together.

“No, it’s not.” The sudden excitement he was feeling, or the memory of how it felt as a human, disappeared almost immediately.

Axel looks over at the bandages, and trepidation begins to set in. What if Saïx was permanently damaged, and he wouldn’t be able to see? What if this bandage was just for show, and really was doing nothing? Maybe Vexen was trying to play them as fools, as the scientist never cared for their antics, neither as humans, or as Nobodies.

“How much longer until it will be 8, then?” Saïx questions, lifting his head up to attempt to angle his head towards where Axel’s is. It doesn’t quite work, but Axel will never tell him. He knows how difficult it already is for him. Why make it worse?

“About an hour.” Axel picks up the book off the floor. “How about I read out loud for a bit?”

“I wish it was 8 now,” Saïx mumbles, resting his head back on the redhead’s shoulder. “Yes, please, Lea. I’d like any distraction now.”

He opens the book, and begins to read the first chapter. Time is forgotten, as they both get into the story. Axel is about halfway through the book, before he realizes it’s way past 8. Taking a moment, he keeps his finger in the book, before closing it.

“Isa, we lost track of time.” He states, his voice wavering a little, as he starts to become nervous.

Saïx sits up. “Did we? Is it 8?”

“It’s 10.” Axel sets the book down, knowing that their story time is now over.

“Will you help me take off the bandage, Lea?” He jumps up off the couch, and stands perfectly still. “I don’t know what to do.”

Axel stands up with him. “Of course, Isa.”

His hands tremble, as he touches the back of Saïx’ head, where the bandage had been tucked in. He begins to peel the layers, his right hand doing most of the work, as he holds the unraveled bandages with his left hand. Everything seems to look as it had before, but there was still so much bandage to unfurl. Axel’s hands could not move fast enough, as little by little, the bandages fell away. With one final go around Saïx’ head, the last piece of cloth falls away.

“Well?” Saïx asks, a smile on his face. “How do I look?”

He stares at his best friend, and sees the person he became friends with standing next to him. The memory of Isa, those blue eyes that always made him feel alive, is a ghost. The smile is still the same, spreading across his visage, but the eyes. The eyes are now different.

Instead of the beautiful blue that had been there before….before the incident, whatever had happened between him and the Heartless, it had stolen the last piece of humanity that had been leftover from before. Saïx’ eyes are now an offset gold. But, that isn’t the worst of it.

There was a large ‘X’ on his face, the center of it directly above his nose. The person standing in front of him couldn’t be his best friend. It couldn’t. This has to be some cruel joke, that Vexen and Zexion were playing on him. This could not be happening.

“Lea, what is it?” Saïx asks, the smile disappearing from his face. “Please, talk to me. Am I disfigured? You’re not saying anything. What’s wrong? Please, tell me!” Each question became more urgent, the anger happening almost automatically.

“Your face, Isa,” Axel whispers. The bandage falls, as his left hand goes slack. He moves his gloved right hand towards Saïx’ face. His finger brushes the mark on his face, as tears begin to fall from his eyes. “Oh, Isa…”

His hand is knocked away, as Saïx races towards the bathroom. Axel sinks to the floor, crying inaudibly, as he hears his pained noise echo in the bathroom. Saïx comes back out, tears streaming down his face, as he closes his eyes tightly.

“This can’t be happening. This hasn’t happened. Lea, this is a nightmare. Lea, please wake me up!” Saïx begs him, as his hands find his without having to see. After being without his eyesight for so long, it’s almost easier for Saïx to slip back into that routine, rather than keep his eyes open.

“I wish it was,” Axel whispers, grabbing him into a tight hug. “What the hell happened, Isa? Why are your eyes like that now?”

“I made a mistake,” Saïx hides his face against the crook of his neck, his voice becoming muffled. “I disobeyed an order, because I thought that what I could do was the right thing.” The disappointment was clear in his voice. “I had assumed I was going to be okay. Superior told me not to do it, but I didn’t listen.”

He keeps him close, wiping his eyes off with his hand. “It’s alright, Isa. It was a mistake. It happens. I make mistakes all the time.”

“Your eyes are still green!” He’s pushed back roughly, as Saïx stands up. “My eyes are gone, Lea. They’re gone!”

“No, they’re not!” Axel jumps up. “You can still see, can’t you?”

“They’re not my true eyes. They’re not….human.” Saïx whispers. “How can you even look at me, Lea? How can you stand there, and not cringe every time you look at my face?” He points at the scar. “This is permanent. This is never going to go away. I’m never going to be Isa again.” He breaks down, tears streaming down his face. “I…. I just want to be who I was before, Lea. I don’t want to change.”

He walks over to him. “You’re always going to be Isa to me.” Axel touches his face, pushing some of the hair back behind his ears. “Nothing will ever change that, okay? You are my best friend. With gold eyes, with blue eyes, with black eyes. It doesn’t matter.” He hugs him tightly. “You should know that it will take a lot more than that to get me to push you away.”

“I’m…. I’m sorry.” Arms clasp behind his back, as Saïx hugs him back. He can feel him begin to relax, the relief palpable between the two of them. “Lea…”

He lets go of him gently, and steps back. “Isa, look at me.”

“No,” Saïx shakes his head, his eyes tightly closed.

“Look at me.” Axel speaks a little harsher than he intends. He doesn’t want to see his friend to be ashamed of who he is. “Damn it, quit being so stubborn!” He shouts, his temper getting the best of him.

His eyes snap open, revealing those golden irises. “I am not stubborn, Lea.”

“Yes, you are.” The redhead snorts. He walks over to the couch, and sits down. He waits for Saïx to join him, before he begins to speak again. “Just because your eyes are different, and you have a scar now, doesn’t mean I’m going to stop being your best friend.”

“But-”

“No buts.” Axel shakes his head. “Did you stop being my best friend, when I got the permanent scars on my face?” He points at the purple markin on his face. Saïx shakes his head, bringing a smile to his face. “So, what makes you think I’m going to stop being loyal to you, because of some dumb ‘x’, and your eyes changing color?”

The smile that had first appeared on his face when Axel was removing the bandages was beginning to blossom on Saïx’ face. “I suppose nothing.”

“That’s right. Nothing. Because whether you like it or not, you are stuck with me, Isa.” He places his hand on top of Saïx’, and gives it a firm squeeze. “We got in this together, we’re going to stay in this together.”

“Really?”

“I give you my word, Isa. We’ll get through this together, okay?” Axel looks into his eyes, and sees the spark that was unique to Saïx slowly coming back. “You can always count on me. No matter what.”

“Thank you, Lea.”

They sat together on the couch for the rest of the night, neither one moving to pick up the bandage that was on the floor. It was a reminder that things were different now, and both wished to remain oblivious to the fact. 


End file.
